The next day, it was confirmed that my bloods had again dropped. Why me and not you, you bastard? And that was a terrible moment to be sort of hanging on, waiting. Can you describe the difference between the scan at this later stage in a pregnancy? Or, at the very least, heart problems. So I took the test and jumped in the shower. The following is a quote from their report: If the scan reveals either a suspected or confirmed abnormality, the woman should be informed by the sonographer at the time of the scan. My partner tried to remain calm, and at my request rang my mum. I then found that soft markers means 'vague unproven suggestion of a link', and that echogenic locii are small concentrations of calcium which are incredibly common and harmless. It was interesting - well it was fantastic to see this fetus and to see this child that was yours that was horribly ill - but you didn't really get much opportunity to see that because the consultant was more about measurements and all sorts of blood flow and various other screens coming up. Again, no notes can have been written down because the midwife asked the same question. And you know, we were laughing and joking. Purpose of screening. She just said, 'It's a bit short, it needs to be checked' again basically. We just couldn't use the words. So that was it. SO much upset and needless angst has been caused by 'soft markers' found at scans. And there [sighs] was a very dark patch over one, where the eye socket was, and they didn't know it, in the Edward's babies sometimes the eyes don't develop properly, or it might have been bleeding, they weren't very sure. From losing my dad to his battle with cancer, to then having to face another battle with cancer and my mum; thankfully she pulled though. 80 percent of my pregnancies have ended in death and I felt like they were telling me those babies didn't matter. I was given a leaflet and told to return four days later to see the consultant. I went away and came back, and she couldn't get a good picture. The sonographer will be able to tell you the results of the scan at the time. Where we were living then at the time you only had a scan at 20 weeks. I've realised that being a nice person is a luxury some can't afford. If one of the conditions is found or suspected, the sonographer may ask for a second opinion from another member of staff. Sometimes specialist scans such as 3D scans, or MRI scans, are used to examine the baby in greater detail. I took my vitamins, stuck to the healthy diet and put on a brave face. If this happens, you will be offered one further scan by 23 weeks of pregnancy. And shortly after that, that scan we'd finished and the consultant leant back and said, 'I'm afraid we have some problems here'. Next most likely is that baby doesn't co-operate and they can't see some parts of anatomy and call you back 2 weeks later just because they couldn't see (i had this but because twin pregnancy I was due to be scanned 2 weeks later anyway). I didn't want to be convincing him to agree with me. Because we knew that that wasn't normal, that wasn't what we'd experienced before, it wasn't just the, 'There's the arm, there's the leg, oh look the baby's moving'. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. For five months my body had known there was something wrong, yet I had felt fantastic. It was exactly like the labour I had with my first child. It's been a heartbreaking nightmare. He felt doing more blood tests would only cause me more discomfort and false hope. And I am slowly coming to terms with what has happened. I remember thinking, 'that doesn't look quite right'. The hormone levels had dropped, but they wanted to scan me again. See more information about the 20-week ultrasound scan. The week that followed was an agonising wait. For once in my life, I had been organised. And again, you know, you read all the books and it tells you 'this is the diagnostics', but after a while you don't hear that inside your head any more No, no, no, I'm fine - because everything's perfect. Several parents said they would have preferred being told something, even it was vague. Just that really! I don't know how we got through the next couple of days. And they took me into another room. The milk came and stayed for what seemed like for ever. Good luck has not come easily over the past few years. And my husband, we never got to sit next to each other in the consulting room, my husband was across the room from me, and I was sat next to the consultant, and we were laughing and joking with him about, you know, the home delivery, and everything was going to be, 'Are you still on for the home delivery?' So on the Monday we went in to see the senior sonographer, I think she was a consultant at the hospital. And with each one we had to have the same conversations. You may like someone to come with you to the scan appointment. Can you remember that minute. I was booked back in to discuss management options, if nothing had happened. Just doing it. DS had 2 soft markers: talipes (club foot) and 'echogenic locii' somewhere - heart I think. But on, in the middle of March, 10th March it was, we had a 20 week scan. I want to stop having such horrible thoughts. It felt as if we'd gone underground, that we were part of the criminal fraternity. We must have had one before that as well, we must have had one before that, but it came back quite normal. It felt as if we had gone power crazy. By this point I had stopped bleeding, this caused problems. And I could see, before she even said anything I could see that there was something wrong with the heart. He sounded like a wild animal in pain, deep pain. I mean, you just, you're just overwhelmed, it's so much fun. At first, I still had to deal with the physical implications of having given birth. But he was wrong. The scan yet again confirmed things were not good, however the sac had grown. Have I misunderstood what's going on?' So even if anomolies are found, they don't always mean a problem.. x. I had issues at the 20 weeks scan with both of mine. That was the first time I had heard him cry. Seeing your baby on a screen can be really exciting. I managed to tell my mum, who said she would come with us to the hospital. I couldn't bear to see the baby and asked the midwife to take him away immediately. And I knew there was no way out. unfortunately the 20 week anomaly scan can pick up serious issues, hearing heart beats at midwife appointment doesn't let us know what's going on inside the body in detail. The same rush of excitement. Scans cannot find all conditions. Our week-by-week PREGNANCY emails are a must for parents-to-be. And that was extraordinary to see the detail that that could offer. And, sometimes, I wish I had invited my whole family into the hospital room to see him. Read full disclaimer. And they took us out of the scanning room, into a more quiet room while they typed up the report. After half an hour of lying on the bed, I was starting to get nervous, but was excited to find out that the baby would be a boy and that I could see his little heart beating strongly. The baby was kicking so hard that I began to believe him. I guess the morphine made it easier. Specialist scans are performed in specialist fetal units and if clinicians feel that there might be problems scanning will be done up to 32 weeks. Only this time, no cry came. And that, that was when things where it started going a bit wrong. Some parents wondered if it was possible to have the same scan done at 16 weeks rather than 20 weeks. I couldn't really believe what they were saying. She didn't say at the time that it was a major problem or that it was something to watch out for. Having the scan does not hurt but the sonographer may need to apply slight pressure to get the best views of your baby. So choroid plexus cysts on their own, no problem, but if there's something else wrong, then that's a problem. So I lay on the bed and my partner sat next to me. We also use cookies set by other sites to help us deliver content from their services. I couldn't have the added responsibility for changing his mind. What happens at the second midwife appointment? We scattered his ashes over a bunch of snowdrops. Christmas came and went in a blur of emotion, it felt so wrong to be celebrating when we were in such turmoil. And, faced with feeling sorry for myself or feeling sorry for my child, I know which I'd choose. I know its hard- but i really wouldnt worry about it too much as the worry will stress you and your body out. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here), tbh, they never give you good news at scans. But you know I knew we had, we had to make a decision that was right for the baby as well. My mum arrived early to look after our son, and my partner and I got a cab to the hospital. By my own hand, I had to end the pregnancy. You've had your, you know, you've had your triple test and everything was fine. Sometimes it is difficult to get good views of a baby. It is extremely rare for these pregnancies to reach term as they typically spontaneously miscarry early in pregnancy. And she sort of got up and walked out of the room and called someone in. Can't seem to find info on the Internet. And then I can't remember an awful lot more about that scan apart from that feeling of searching of how to react in an unknown situation - your brain's kind of trying to work out what to say, what to do, but I had no idea what to say or what to do and I think my first thought was, does that mean our first daughter's okay?
Bad news at 20 week scan | Mumsnet To help us improve GOV.UK, wed like to know more about your visit today. Sometimes specialist scans such as 3D scans, or MRI scans, are used to examine the baby in greater detail. I ran into the bedroom to tell Sam, who was ecstatic. But I still didn't want to be the one who stopped this baby's chance to live. And how wrong could they be? The doctor told me he was 98% sure this was a failing twin pregnancy. The consultant at the time wasn't really that interested in that imagery. And so we had to go out a couple of times, [wife] had to walk around, and she had a drink of water, which is supposed to sort of change things inside, or help the baby turn around or something because the sonographer couldn't get the measurements she wanted. Health professionals use the 18-20 week scan to examine the baby's size and position, and also to check if his/her brain, heart, lungs and other internal organs are developing as expected. Cardiac surgery can do some amazing things. Nice people shouldn't hear about what we'd done. Except for the persistent, nagging doubts. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. Perhaps because we are alone in this, it has brought my partner and me very close. Then I picked myself up. I've been incredibly lucky to have such amazing support from Sam, my mum, and close friends and family. The same unique expression he had when he saw our two year old born. Dont worry we wont send you spam or share your email address with anyone. Being generous and kind generally happens only when you're happy. 10/03/2021 16:13, @Cormoransjacket The sonographer then passes a hand-held probe over your skin to examine the babys body. Living in this world must be unbearable for them. You can change your cookie settings at any time. or sort of light chat that we'd, we'd experienced before with previous scans. He suggested he perform an amniocentesis immediately, to rule out any chromosomal problems. We've joined the grown-ups and we both feel very different. The pain was bearable but uncomfortable, the hospital rang me a few days later and asked me how I was. I was then told yet again bad news. We couldn't say we'd lost the baby, because he was still kicking away, but we couldn't pretend everything was fine, either. The scan will find about half (50%) of those babies who have heart defects. (See 'Resources'). I used to think the feeling of your baby kicking inside you and the sight of a foot poking against your skin were the most fantastic things in the world. He was tiny, perfect and a Down's syndrome baby. I swallowed the tablet and we left the building. I just want to be normal again. Let a mum know you're thinking of them send one of our personalised Mother's Day cards today, Home I wanted to be a passive patient while the doctor did what he had to do. By this time, we were tired. You might be offered another test to find out for certain if your baby has one of the conditions. The doctor didn't come. Many described how sonographers and doctors were very restrained and didn't speak at all until they had analysed all the baby's details. The pain was excruciating, but nothing compared to how I felt inside. I want to enjoy my son again, without any reservations. I mean the lady who was scanning was very quiet for a long time. Surely he couldn't have missed anything else that is so serious x. blood tests, CVS) were clear - and as one woman put it, 'after the triple test* (Down's syndrome screening) you stop thinking anything can go wrong'. Likely to have serious medical problems all his life. You do not have to have the scan. I remember thinking, 'Gosh' I now know it was a girl, I didn't know that then, that, 'She looks just like her brother'. With my oldest it turns out she has a minor thing that affects 1 in 1000 of the population and wont harm her at all it's just "there" and with my second the issue turned out to be nothing. When I told him what had happened, he refused to believe anything was wrong and said he'd sort it out when he came home. I was saving my child from pain and suffering. Within it are a number of recommendations for the communication of findings from ultrasounds. In the case of a suspected abnormality, women should be seen for a second opinion by an expert in fetal ultrasound, such as a fetal medicine specialist. When I think about how long it took them to deliberate ultimately, maybe not, but it just felt like a bit of a fast food situation, didn't it? The same anxious wait for a little, pathetic cry. Again, we weren't understood. Last updated July 2017. I was another one who did get bad news at the 20 week scan. [Husband] couldn't make it. Our nightmare began when I went for my 20-week scan. 20 week scans look for 11 different anomalies as a rule, however, indicators (markers) are not terribly reliable and in all the literature I found, the targets set for stonographers look like they only pick up around 50% or less of these variants. Like many things, the theory is very different from the reality. Many parents were shocked by findings from the 20-week and later scans. At which point they turned round and said, 'Well, there is something very seriously wrong with the baby, we don't know exactly what, but you do need to have a more in-depth scan at your regional hospital to find out the detail'. Impact of the 20-week and later specialist scans
Which is what I'd seen. All women are offered a dating scan, and an 18- 20 week fetal anomaly ultrasound scan, in line with NICE and UK National Screening Committee recommendations. Parents get a chance to emotionally adapt to news and plan. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. I would be put to sleep, and when I woke up I wouldn't be pregnant any more. There was cause for concern. I had no issues at my 20wk scan with DD - and neither did any of my antenatal group (9 mums). Though the 18-20 week scan can detect when certain parts of the baby's body have grown abnormally, it may not be possible for clinicians to identify why it has happened or make a firm diagnosis based on the scan alone. The midwife was on the verge of tears and I felt responsible.
How common is it to get bad news at 20 week scan? | Mumsnet There's nothing wrong, you know, we've had all the tests, everything's fine,' and being very upbeat about it all. My partner was away working and was waiting to hear whether he was having a son or daughter. At this point it wasn't looking great. Some people had underestimated how serious any abnormality found at this stage could be for the baby. Others, including those who had been given leaflets to read about the scan beforehand as well as some who were health professionals, said that they had been nave about the 20-week scan. But you could see there was something wrong? They sort of drew some diagrams, and they said, 'But we need to refer you to a specialist to confirm the diagnosis'. I had hope that the little bumps inside me were fighting just as much as I was to stay with me. If an abnormality is confirmed or suspected, referral is usually required, although some obvious major fetal abnormalities, such as anencephaly, may not require a second opinion (this should be decided by local guidelines). It would be a personal tragedy for my partner and me, but that is all. And I can, the words that the scanning member of staff used, "Everything's fine", will stay with me forever. It is impossible to escape them and each one underlines your loss. The consultant explained that this was just very bad luck and not, as far as they knew, genetic. We went in, had a scan, I can't remember the exact sequence of events because the baby was still in the wrong position. I was then told yet again bad news. Trying to carry on as normal, working and putting on a brave face. But everything seemed fine and we'd been sitting waiting to see the consultant, and I'd had an examination on the bed. My wife turned the screen away from her. Sometimes doctors will wait to give the baby more time to develop and carry out repeat scans - this had confused several parents we talked to who had gone for repeat scans not knowing that the baby might have a problem. You've had a scan, you've had the blood tests, you've been good. We left for home feeling completely numb. Not surprisingly, people aren't quite sure how to deal with me. And they took me to another room and they explained that the baby had what they thought was ventriculomegaly or something. And she said that, you know, as the, if the baby did develop further there would probably be other problems with internal organs that weren't really that visible at that stage. We're still not at the end of our journey, but we're much further along. Many parents were shocked by findings from the 20-week and later scans.
Ending a pregnancy for fetal abnormality - The 18-20 week antenatal They would then re-test me in two days time. When he came back, he agreed on a termination. She didn't want to see the baby. Sometimes women were told that the sonographer had found a 'marker' or sign of a chromosomal condition and had to wait for an amniocentesis to confirm the findings. I felt empty, scared, guilty and incredibly heartbroken. We were denying him his life. The screen may be directly facing them or at an angle.
The doctor or midwife looking after you will let you know before you come. In a small number of cases some very serious conditions are found. I should stop being dramatic and pessimistic. And they, sort of two of them were looking at the scan machine and then they sort of switched everything off and said, 'Oh, I think we have, might have a problem'. But with time although we will never forget, I know we will be ok again. Many people were deeply affected by their experiences of the 20-week and subsequent specialist scans. And the doctor - because it was a doctor rather then just the, a sonographer or whatever the correct term is - was scanning my wife, and she hovered over the heart of the baby and said, 'Oh there's the heart, we'll come back to that'. But no. The same anticipation. 18-20 week scans provide clinicians with more information than earlier scans because by18 weeks a healthy baby should be larger and better developed. I thought I was going to burst into tears. And that was Monday afternoon. The baby was very, very small. He started to scan me with a cold expression, then told me, "it didn't look good" and that "my womb looked raggedy". I believed at this point I had miscarried, they wanted me to come back I'm for a follow up scan. The same sense of expectation. 15/02/2014 08:02. But he was not sure. Again the legs were quite twisted, they said that the baby's sternum was very short - things weren't in proportion you know - the head was quite large, the neck was very thick, there wasn't really like a neck as such it was just things were kind of - there were lots of things that obviously the consultant could see that we weren't aware of. Most hospitals do not allow children to attend scans as childcare is not usually available. By 7pm, I still hadn't delivered the baby. The hardest thing I have ever done. I didn't have a clue. I give obsessively to charity, especially those linked to sick children. Some people had underestimated how serious any abnormality found at this stage could be for the baby. If you are not sure, you can contact them and ask. Is it the same scan or is it the same equipment? The only thing you're thinking now is the birth, and what if something goes wrong in the birth? And for that whole time, my partner and I were both crying uncontrollably. . Tommys is a registered charity in England and Wales (1060508) and Scotland (SC039280). At the time the same thing had, exactly the same thing had happened to my friend a month before, and her scan was absolutely fine. The doctor gave her consent, and I took the four little tablets.
Never being able to look after himself. So we went home, me to rest in an attempt to prevent miscarriage, my partner to reassure us both. That he - I think I was 21 weeks and 3 days, and he was coming up at 19 weeks and 4 days, or something like that. I was becoming numb to the whole process. So once again we were right back down, really no, really not knowing what to expect. Another sick joke. All my instincts were to protect my belly, yet here I was allowing someone to stick a huge needle into it. So it was just, we were coming up to the 20-week scan and I was just getting more relaxed, just actually starting to look at maybe baby catalogues or, you know, going down the baby aisle at the shops, which I'd always avoided. Forcing my hand to my mouth to take the tablet was probably the hardest thing I have ever done. Well, at the regional hospital it was a 3-D scan. And before they gave me any of the results she asked a colleague to come and told me she wanted to check something, with a colleague, and by then I was getting very concerned because I'd never had that happen before. (See. While some parents understood the clinician's restraint - even when they had to wait an hour or more for a definite diagnosis - others disliked being kept in suspense and wanted to be told what the clinician was thinking. There was an extra digit on one of the hands. It was sick. No one else felt him kick. I just feel very unlucky. . To view this licence, visit nationalarchives.gov.uk/doc/open-government-licence/version/3 or write to the Information Policy Team, The National Archives, Kew, London TW9 4DU, or email: psi@nationalarchives.gov.uk. Your mind has closed to the possibility that there could be anything wrong. Finally, Monday came and we went back to the hospital. We had to discuss what we wanted to do with the little body after delivery. I sat and waited to be called for my scan.
And I, my husband and I both ran our own business at the time so we were desperate to get back and do some work, and things were going really well, so.. There, I would give birth. And it turned out the baby's heart wasn't forming properly, the chambers weren't forming properly. They said the brain was okay -, We were in there for a matter of minutes, literally -, In and out. As you felt that, you know, it was probably going to show lots of problems and it just wasn't what we wanted, but at the same time we needed to sort of see it and, we needed to prove it I suppose. I was told that while bad news at the 12 w scan is often of the life or death kind, bad news at the 20 week scan is often of the 'needs an operation in childhood' or 'needs to wear a brace for a year' kind. It was, 'Oh we'll come back to that'.
I am a darker, harder version of myself. I had an appointment with my consultant 2 days later, and again he said, you know, 'Very common - shouldn't worry about it too much, you know, if, the problem is if they find anything else wrong'. You have accepted additional cookies.
It's part of our family. An hour passed and I started to panic. I wanted to let nature take its course. Everywhere you look, there are happy, fat, smug pregnant women. We needed closure, to allow us to grieve properly. So and you could see the exomphalus, this little pouch, which was obviously just the intestines where they are. The first words I said were: "If there's anything wrong then it's my fault", I had been working 70, nearly 80 hours the previous weeks and pushed myself hard. The termination would be averting a tragedy. That they could have spotted something, or not? The 18-20 week antenatal scan and further tests, Ending the pregnancy for family & personal reasons, Deciding whether to see, hold and name the baby, Photographs and other mementoes of the baby, Saying goodbye to the baby - services & funerals, Coping with bereavement - women's experiences, Coping with bereavement - men's experiences, Men's ideas about their role in ending a pregnancy. Try to relax and take it easy. I hated my body and hated every feeling I was having. I tried not to sit still for too long, because then I became too aware of the little thing inside me. You will be able to discuss this with your midwife or consultant. This might be uncomfortable. It was another consultant, who said, "I'm afraid I have some bad news - your baby has Down's syndrome." And also what the prognosis would mean for our two year old: now a very happy child, he would have a completely different childhood with such an ill sibling. The scan was inconclusive, but the size of my little bump was measuring a lot smaller than it should have for 10 weeks. It was far too much power; neither of us wanted it. There was complete silence during the scan. So, in the end, we said we would arrange our own funeral. The blood test confirmed it was twins. We'd sort of put those discussions to the back of our mind, and then all of a sudden there are other abnormalities so yeah it was a bit a bit of a shocker [laughs].