There are many types of depression, but we wont talk about all of them today. Why did my depressed boyfriend break up with me? - Quora To him, the relationship became suffocating and tedious, so he thought he needed to get rid of as many stressors as he could. I want back what we had. Or when he really starts to realize how much he misses me and starts feeling better? Time does help just a bit too slow. When you are breaking up with someone you are still in love with, it might be good, to be honest. But that will most frequently happen when they have a better mental state. He could just be dealing with stress and doesnt know how to handle his stress. Remind him about his goals and dreams 2. We would talk and he said his son had noticed a change in him of not being happy as usual. like he used to. Theyll be there for you whether you ask them to or not. A person with mental illness that is emotionally stable and is in treatment can be as great a partner as any other person. Just good times when we were physically together. How Can You Communicate After Your Depressed Partner Leaves? Each article is written by a team member with exposure to and experience in the subject matter. But he isnt doing that. My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me: Now What? | BetterHelp They want him to act a certain way even though hes dealing with a lot of problems at the same time and cant act the way they want him to act. I have no desires to truly speak of, as nothing I do is rewarding or satisfying. This is exactly how anhedonia feels. Do I just still treat him like a dumper?! Depression is such a condition which can seriously affect interpersonal relationships. But this is related to some matters in his life and the relationship. If he doesnt get well and improve his perception of you, youll move on and find happiness without him. My boyfriend broke up with me a couple weeks agohe suffers from depression and anxiety. Thing's just recently started going downhill, causing him to quit his job and to be admitted to the hospital. His unhappiness had been accumulating for days, weeks, or perhaps even longer. We had planned our future together, about getting an apartment and maybe having kids. Hi everyone, I am in my early 20s and my boyfriend of 1.5 years broke up with me because he's depressed. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. It might be good to start considering what to do in the future about this relationship. So if youre wondering why your boyfriend broke up with you because of depression, heres the answer youre looking for. Im going through the something similar me and my ex girlfriend are both 19 she broke up with me because of depression and that she was emotionally drained she didnt realize she was depressed till about a few . Here are some ways you help your depressed boyfriend: 1. He feels smothered by you and thinks he should stop feeling smothered before he can work on himself. 2023 Remedy Health Media, LLC ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. My boyfriend broke up with me on Sunday and I cant stop crying. Depression makes a person feel numb. If you want to get back to him even though he is depressed you can try to change things up. You should take him to a professional who will be able to dig into the root causes behind his problems. To express my support and I got a message to not go to his house. Coming here and reading this article and all these comments, somehow makes me feel better. Ok, first and foremost, I'm very happy that in a relationship as hard as this one, you found the resilience to fight for it. You can't wait around forever, but what you can do is try to live your life well and if things turn around, great - if not, you've still got your life. This is pretty typical behavior for depressed men who aren't getting adequately treated and by that I mean, aren't in therapy as well as taking medication. Ive heard just about every breakup excuse there is and I can tell you that this one is a doozy. As an understanding partner, you should keep your calm and try to get into the root of the problem through communication. It is not even them. Im going through the same thing. Sorry for this long long essay, but it makes me feel much better writing it down and sharing it. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. What is way more important than your relationship is your partners health. Woman paralysed by her ex when he caught her in bed with a new man is PsychReel do not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. If there was something that wasnt as great or emotionally unhealthy in the relationship, it might be hard for them to come back to it.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[336,280],'psychreel_com-leader-4','ezslot_11',116,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-leader-4-0'); Having a mental illness doesnt make it impossible for a person to have a relationship. And that only leaves you with one thing to do. Its something dumpers do to avoid dealing with a highly emotional situation. He proceeded to hang out with his friends and cancelled on my twice in a weekend even the make-up plans he made. We've been going out over 5 years and hasn't seemed himself the past few months and then we were together and he suddenly broke down and told me he has developed anxiety and could be depressed and thinks we need to break up so can can be by himself too. You'll get health news, advice, and inspiration delivered right to your inbox. Hi, I have been in a (very) long distance relationship for about a year and a half. We barely spoke during this month, and she told me she wanted to break up this Tuesday. Said all the things Ive read here like its really not you and I just need to be by myself. Did they ever contact you and come back ? I know he really cares about me. They have a lack of motivation, satisfaction and interest in anything. Its one of those things that can affect dumpers in bad and good ways. It really doesn't change. I would like to connect and talk about it maybe we could help each other, Im going through it right now. And just to be able to know Im still the person he wants to be with. Observe his actions. I know thats what your emotions are telling you to do, but its not right. Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Because Of Depression She doesnt know why she is feeling this way, she is upset because she wish she could give me a reason, she feels guilty that she is wasting my time. Aside from that, it is important to know if his depression was caused by a specific situation, or if it is something they are still struggling with because if that is the case, they might not go back until it is resolved. It made him think that he didnt have enough time, energy, willpower, and love to stay in a relationship with you and that he needed to find happiness without you. In his own words: He thinks things through and makes deliberate, purposeful decisions. She is doing a psychology degree at her college, and thats how she realized she might be bipolar and learned more about her symptoms and disorders. Hes happy when everythings fine and unhappy or miserable when he cant get what he wants from you. I would come to the USA, she would come to France, and vice versa. Is It OK to Break Up With Someone Struggling With Mental Health? But if he is unavailable to do so, it might be hard to not take it personally, or accept the breakup. My (ex)boyfriend has told me he was depressed before we met and he has had dark thoughts ever since he was about 10 years old. But if hes avoiding people, blaming himself, and missing out on sleep, then hes likely dealing with the real deal and needs a lot of understanding. The same is true for your ex. Lately he's been starting to feel depressed again and a couple of weeks ago he broke up with me saying he needs some time to work on himself. People may also start to avoid spending time with their partners. I'm also glad you think you have great qualities such as being a hard working independent woman. If your ex-boyfriend decided to protect himself from getting hurt, you should too. I was in a loving, committed, stable, relationship for 1.5 years with my boyfriend before this recent event. Be respectful, genuine, and careful. He probably wants to distract himself so he doesnt see any reminders of you. He needs to know hes not that person anymore and that you know your worth. I obviously hope that we get back together after what she said, and looking back to what we had these past 3.5 years, she is truly a great person, we brought so much happinness to each other and loved each other from the bottom of our heart, we both really were looking forward to a future together. So if your boyfriend broke up with you because of depression, dont immediately assume that his only issue is his mental health. You should know: The answer above provides general health information that is not intended to replace medical advice or treatment recommendations from a qualified healthcare professional. He was never abusive to me; just the opposite. It's not my fault! I have been writing a journal on everything that happened from the day, how I felt and what my thoughts were in details. They express that the breakup is not their girlfriends fault and that they have some things to figure out on their own. Let him take some time, give him some space. Depressed boyfriend broke up with me, how can I help him? He told me that he love me and we made plans about the future , we were . Everything was going well in our relationship, occasional fights here & there but nothing truly significant. This can be extremely painful because you feel used and discarded. So treat his depressed state as any other breakup and take the usual post-breakup actions. I don't know what to do. I told him Id always be here for him and how much I love him. As a result I continued to stay isolated from most people and could be a weight on his shoulder. Your depressed boyfriend broke up with you? Be your partner mentally healthy or not. This is what depression is and does, it breaks everything that is beautiful, loving, and good. A dog or a cat will likely provide you with more comfort and security than someone who finds it excruciatingly painful to help his or her partner get through a difficult time. Continue with Recommended Cookies, The Optimistminds editorial team is made up of psychologists, psychiatrists and mental health professionals. Share your thoughts below. We are going to look for counseling and a proper therapy with proper psychologists that can give her proper help and medications, and after that ill let her be and give her the space and time she needs, while still being there for her at any time and whenever she needs me. Sometimes we have problems, and we need to have the knowledge and strength to deal with them. Loads of people with mental health conditions are able to enjoy long lasting, fulfilling, happy relationships. The following are some of the ways listed: Before you try reconnecting with your partner learn about what depression is and how its consequences lead to your breakup. The first thing to do is to remember that not all relationships are perfect. Depression may seem like its all about him getting overwhelmed and thinking hes not good enough, but depressed people often associate unhealthy thoughts and emotions with their ex on top of that. Advised his mum to take him to therapy too! Its been 3 days since we last talked and we have talked everyday for 4 years. Such behavior is no different from ordinary dumper behavior. We were committed, we had goals, we had projects, we had a future together. This will be great to learn more about yourself as an individual, and not only with the likes and dislikes that were related to the relationship.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'psychreel_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_6',113,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0'); Sometimes finding new places to go, such as art exhibitions, doing a small trip, can give you a clear headspace to think about what has happened and deal with it. He suffers from depression, and I believe to also be bipolar. He cant be because someone who leaves when youre struggling emotionally is in the relationship only for the good times. I sent it before I read this article anyways. She doesnt know why she wake up mean and irritated towards me, and that she is afraid she will keep feeling this way and hurt me. His friends had taken him to a psychiatrist & has been on medication ever since! It can be inferred that your boyfriend might have had extreme mood fluctuations which made him take such a decision of breaking up. My boyfriend with anxiety suddenly breaks up with me Bipolar boyfriend broke up with me and I'm having trouble coping. Judge him by his pre-breakup and post-breakup behavior. Take care! He is my best friend, my love, my everything. Meaning, if you got depressed maybe your reaction would have been to reach out to him more, for comfort while his reaction is to withdraw. I was going to move there definitely with her, after we both finish our studies. If your boyfriend broke up with you because of depression that hes had for months or longer, this can be considered long-term and means that he slowly changed his opinion of you and lost the energy and will to fight. And if you dont want to spend time together, why be in a relationship with the person? Breakups are always difficult, going through one can be a traumatic experience. You can tell them you are sorry it didnt work out, and let them. This will make you feel connected and loved, as it will also give you a space to talk about your feelings and be supported. I miss him so much and I just wish I could talk to him and hug him it hurts so much. Follow Posted 4 years ago, 5 users are following. your partners mental health. It often consists of unexpressed emotions that build up over time. Hes to sad to even text me back saying that seeing my name makes him feel so depressed and how unhappy he is. I know from reading the articles that his decision to leave wasnt just impulsive and despite his reasons for leaving being that he doesnt love me anymore or see a future I believe its down to depression. Me and my girlfriend have been in a long distance relashionship for almost 3.5 years now. He has not responded to any of my texts or phone messages. stressful life experiences may affect your mental health in various ways sometimes trigger prolonged and severe emotional distress. Eckard Tolle, best known as the author of The Power of Now says; Pleasure is always derived from something outside you, whereas joy arises from within. Depressed boyfriend broke up with me : r/depression_partners You can find a therapist at BetterHelp who can help you learn how to cope and address it.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[580,400],'psychreel_com-medrectangle-4','ezslot_3',106,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-medrectangle-4-0'); In case you are new to all this, lets understand a little about what depression is. It's run by a man, John Folk-Williams, who has lived through this himself. Recently, his mother called him up and was very upset that his dad wanted to finalize the divorce with his mother and ever since then he has been distant and all. Along with that, the article explained how a person can cope with a breakup. We love each other & I was honestly shocked when he blindsided me with a breakup. I have been in no contact since 2 weeks now. He told me the other day he started to feel bad again recently and he needs to take a break and that he didnt want to do this because he knew how much it would hurt me and it made him so upset. If your ex left you because of depression, you need to understand that hes not your ideal partner. If he didnt care about you when you needed him the most, he doesnt deserve you at your best either. It helps him focus on his issues and lets him not worry about yours. My Depressed Boyfriend Broke Up With Me And Feels He Needs To Be Alone Exes who become depressed after the breakup tend to crave a relationship with the dumpee whereas those who leave because of depression want a lot of alone time. Depressed ex-boyfriend dumped me, gave up and being cold and cruel Hi, I'm actually going through the exact same thing with my boyfriend. She was getting more and more in depression ever since she moved, and i really tried my best to be there for her, to show her that i care and love her, and that shes not alone and that ill always be there for her, as usual and as i always did since we met. If your ex-boyfriend has a history of depression or his family members have suffered from depression before, you must consider his depression a serious matter. She doesnt feel herself. Everything went for the best, and we would travel to see each other during summers and winters. My boyfriend broke up with me because his depression and anxiety has I could sleep and eat better now and could enjoy movie/books. You have a lot to think about but there are resources and I wish you all the best as you try to figure this out. It has been about a month of us being broken up. When friends abandon you: What to do next? We hung out last week, and not much progress has been made. Its difficult to face a breakup on its own but to also see the man you love go through so much pain hurts more.
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